As I began to embrace my season of transition, the layers of conformity started to peel back, and I came face to face with the fact that I had never truly been fulfilled by the work I was doing; the joy for me came from the relationships I built with other people. I faced some very hard truths about myself; for years, I’ve spoken things over myself that absolutely weren’t true.  I’m an introvert; I’ll never lose this weight, and I’ll never have the life I truly want. 

For years, I’ve spent countless hours watching other people create, feeling like it was outside my reach because I wasn’t consistently tapping into my own creativity.  I had the time to do it; I was just distracted because I was pretending that climbing the ladder in my field made more sense. It was safe, and I was comfortable.  So, when I was let go, it felt like being kicked in the chest because I had banked on retiring from a position in higher education, and now here I am without a backup plan.   
My dream deferred has become a reality. At almost 50 years old, I’m in a season of creating things that bring me joy; it has sparked something in me that I can’t yet wholly articulate. However, I can guarantee it will be good because God is good! 

Can I tell you a secret?  Every position that advanced my career never fulfilled me; I always secretly desired something more, something different, something that would require me to think in new ways.  I have always had a dream; I just deferred it to a time and space that existed only in my imagination. 

Cat lives outside the Metro Atlanta area with her family and her labradoodle, the incomparable Mz. Muffins.